Six Months Free

So I saw a commercial last night for Match.com. You know- the dating site…

Basically the ad said that they guarantee that you’ll find a match in the first six months you use their service. If you DON’T find a match, they’ll provide you six MORE months of service for FREE.

Uhhhhh… wha?

"Yeah! If you can’t find someone in six months, we’ll give you six MORE months-
for NOTHING."

Isn’t that like saying

“our sushi is guaranteed FRESH! If it’s not- we’ll give you a second portion FREE!”

It got me to thinking about a number of OTHER great commercial incentives…

American Doors: Buy one, get one 50% off DOUBLE the price!

Hertz car rental: 10% off compact car rental for groups of 7 or more!

Sunoco: Free Fill Up with purchase of full tank of gas (same trip only)

Philadelphia Funk Authority: Use us for the wedding- get 25% off the divorce party!

Best Western Hotel: Half Off Room Price if you die in your sleep.

Denny’s: If your coffee is stale- it’s FREE.

Samsung: Buy one light bulb, get the second one.

Free Delivery of Stalker Quarterly

Mort’s Proctology Hut: Gift Certificates Available!

Dominos Pizza: Order On-Line, in the store, on the line, by the cash register.

Dr. Alan B. Bailey: Breast Exam Special- Third boob FREE.

Genessee Lite Beer: 50% fewer calories, we only fill the bottles half way.

Pre-Natal Babysitting: First Nine Months FREE

Tex's Barbecue Pit Emporium: Free Car Adapter with purchase