Monday, July 23, 2007

York? Yes... YORK.

The Funk Authority had a VERY nice gig on Sunday. (Actually, we had a series of nice gigs this past weekend... albeit somewhat spread out... I drove EXACTLY 726 miles from Friday to Sunday. Neet.) The Sunday gig was in York, Pennsylvania. York, Pennsylvannia is about 60 miles west of the last interesting thing in Pennsylvania. (You know those dumbells that say YORK on them? Those are made in... York, Pennsylvania. No shit. Apart from the forging of iron for old-school workout purposes, I'm not sure what ELSE is normally going down in York, Pennsylvania. Anyhoo...) We didn't know quite what to expect, and were somewhat taken aback by a statement included in the rider with the contract for our gig. After all of the regular hoo-ha about start times, gear, and load-in procedures was the BOLD and UNDERLINED sentence:
Smoking and the consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited.

Now, we've had "no booze" clauses in contracts before, but this was the first time we EVER had a NO SMOKING clause. I don't smoke, but about a third of the band does, so this was seen as not only curious, but possibly an indication that this would be a real horse buggy driving, one day barn building, black hat and suit wearing, no electricity using kind of crowd.

You know- FUNK FANS.

Well... the crowd turned out to be quite lovely, the venue was terrific (a super nice amphitheater) and the gig was a BLAST. Yay.

Springettsbury Park Amphitheatre, in lovely York, PA

Dale, Alissa B., and His Royal Baldness in Purple.
The super cool Jack W. sitting in on drums.

Here I am trying to convince the crowd that their entire faith/belief system is horseshit.
Or I was singing "Let's Dance." I don't really remember.

Back on stage... or backs on stage.

Just under the tree on the far right you can see me running like an idiot,
tripping over someone's cooler/defibrilator.

More running. I was taught early in life: If you can't sing well... SPRINT.
It makes the performance SO MUCH more interesting.

Not knowing what to expect BEFORE the day, I figured I'd set the mood by including a little rider of my own on our set list. Ya know- just to put the guys in the right frame of mind.

Here's what was listed after the tunes-

Start at 7:00 - end 8:30
Smoking and the consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited

ALSO- no running, laughing, eating, sitting, standing, dancing, groovin’, mumblin’, shuckin’, jivin’, kissin’, tellin’, cussin’, recreating scenes from Mark Twain novels, barbecuein’, using cell phones, using rotary phones, using morse code, using aldis lamps, parking, debating, rebating, hook baiting, frisbee tossing, salad tossing, flossing, bossing, rolling stones, mossing, moshing, joshing, kiboshing, cooking, fishing, surfing, quantity surveying, composting, desalinating, re-salinating, golfing, javelin throwing, rockin’and/or rollin’, tearing the sucka down, turnin’ the mutha out, rippin’ the seam to shreds, slammin’ down on the one, getting busy, looking busy, prosecuting, defending, asking for an injunction, asking for an appeal, asking for a continuance, use of lawn darts, use of motorized robot dogs, use of simulated bat wings, use of Davincian flying apparatus, re-enacting scenes from the following: World War I, World War II , War of the Worlds (novel) War of the Worlds (movie) Revolutionary War, War on Drugs, War on Terror (fiction), The Cholera Typhis Confabulatory Outbreak of 1890, Act II of Coriolanus, Act III of Die Walk├╝re, any act from “Sister Act II: Back in the Habit,” use of or playing with: tennis balls, volley balls, footballs, raquet balls, soccer balls, Dale’s balls, Larry’s liver, Dave’s coccyx, Andy’s pancreas, the other Andy’s uvula, Alisa’s duodenum, Vinnie’s lymphatic system, Ross’s brown, Jack’s wine or stein, and George’s colon.

PLUS the town of YORK, PA™ strictly enforces a complete moratorium on any activities associated with Gary’s mustache.
…But please have fun and enjoy the park.


Again- the night was great, and we had a blast playing for this crowd.


1 comment:

hooami said...

Hey Geo,
So I have to ask, what is up with you and fatties? I have been listening to your radio show archive and the podcasts and it seems to be a recurring theme. So what's up? Am I going to see you with a "no fat chicks" shirt at Dcon?

- Orobanche